Insincere

People thought I was being ‘Stevie Smith’, very angst and prone to drama.

If you’re old you’re ‘clinically depressed’…understandable really…all those wrinkles staring back, more years behind than in front, a slow decay of time and body.

If you’re ‘middle-aged’ you’re simply in a rut. “Snap out of it!” they say, you’re not the self-obsessed youth you used to be, no time for such indulgences.

If you’re young you just can’t win. The loudest voice in the room but nobody’s listening.

Insincerity drips off the young who have a predisposition for blue…My youth has flown away now, my student days a haze – melancholic writings to paraphrase.

But then as now, my blue is simply a part of me, not showy, not angst…quite healthy now actually.

No longer just wearing black, colour creeps and leaves its residue, a hue to match my mood.

So no, I’m not waving or drowning, not making a statement, not needing help, quite happy, contented, as much as I can be, not full of old rage and hated resentments. Moving on, moved on… nasty neighbours but nice place, like the view…not insincere, not pretentious…simply blue.

Sophie E Tallis © 2003

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12 thoughts on “Insincere

  1. A pretty concise rendering of the ages we go through and the mindsets of each. I, for the most part, am in the “clinically depressed” portion…but remember very well, all the others.
    Another wonderful sentiment, Sophie, thanks! 🙂

    • Thank you Gretchen, you are a sweetheart!

      For my part, I’m definitely in the ‘middle-aged’ rut section! Life flying by too quickly, spending days chasing my tail…in fact, spending days running frantically, and mostly on the spot! 😀

  2. Mary Enck says:

    Amen.

  3. I like to think I’m still young, but I’ve just made an appointment to once again get all the grey in my hair dyed!! 😀
    Middle aged or not I’m more content now than I’ve ever been, yet another great blog! 🙂

    • Thank you Lindsey, you’re so sweet!

      Lol! Yes, I still think of myself as young, certainly immature! But…then you get that shop window moment…when you catch yourself and are so shocked by the middle aged woman staring back at you! 😀

  4. Having a problem with WordPress, so I’m forced to log in with Facebook…oh well. Just wanted to let you know Ryan’s site is up and running…www.griffinsquill.com. He’s been hard at work, take a peek, he’s done a wonderful job!

  5. Aquileana says:

    Blue, color linked to melancholic feelings…

    The blue rose, (in German: Blaue Blume), a central symbol of inspiration. It stands for love, and the metaphysical striving for the inifinite and unreachable…

    As you have highlighted: “my blue is simply a part of me”…
    Diving deeply into the blue Abyss of an infinite sea.
    Blue, almost transparent.

    Beautifully penned, Sophie, Cheers, Aquileana 🙂

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