It’s a strange time. Tomorrow I go to the funeral of my dear friend, Lindsey J Parsons, who tragically passed away earlier in the month. To say her passing was sudden and shocking, would be a huge understatement. At times like these, it’s hard not to be reflective. It’s strange and unsettling, but somehow death has a way of magnifying life and making you realise what is important.
Tempus fugit, how time flies! Don’t waste a moment of it.
Talking of passing time, on Sunday it was the 2nd Anniversary of my little blog. 26th January 2012 I plunged head long into the daunting waters of blog writing.
A hell of a lot has happened in those 2 years.
I’d love to think that I have learnt 730 new skills, grown 730 days wiser, or happier. My life has undoubtedly moved on and changed in that time, which is both good and bad. I have gained wonderful new friends and tragically, lost one dear dear friend.
I have known tremendous success and faced failure up close. Achieved my dreams, and seen them fly away. Been on the highest mountain, the highest pinnacle and found myself completely lost and wandering the wastelands with no cause or direction.
I have battled ill-health and bullies, won and lost, fought for justice and been swamped in confusion. Certainly, it’s true to say that my life has never followed a conventional path, but these past 2 years, have certainly seen it meander into some very strange waters!
Now, believe me, I am as big a coward as they come. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but in my life I have been treated very badly but never seemed to have the courage to face my attackers and tell them what I think. But, somehow, my celtic courage seems at last to be awakening…
I have been able to break free from a very bad situation where my creativity was being attacked by what I can only describe as a couple of decidedly unstable, unprofessional and wholly nasty little bullies, I won’t name them, frankly I don’t need to. But I feel so immensely relieved to be free of them and disassociated from their poor standards.
I have also somehow found the courage and strength to change my circumstances, to give up a long-term and very stable career to jump into the void and try something new. Will I land on my feet? Only time will tell. Do I miss my old job? Honestly…no. Illness forced me to leave, but in hindsight it may have been a blessing. I loved it for a long time, and still love the teaching side of things and working with children which is always memorable and life affirming, but…it was time to move on. I shall miss my good friends and will keep in touch with them, but I shan’t miss ‘It’.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about the life lessons and wisdom of Maya Angelou, one of my personal heroes.
So…what lessons and wisdom, if any, have I learnt that I could pass on and share with you lovely people?
- Don’t be afraid – afraid of change, afraid of changing. Maya Angelou, an amazing writer and a personal hero of mine, said in her book, ‘Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now’, that if you don’t like a situation, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Seemingly simplistic advice but full of meaning.
- Take risks – You never know, it may fail but it may work! What have you really got to lose?
- Life is too damn short – If you’re not living it…then what the hell are you waiting for? Believe me, I’ve wasted time like it’s an Olympic Sport and I’ve been going for gold. Chase your dreams. Don’t wait until tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come… None of us know how much time we have on this Earth, so you owe it to yourself to make the most of it.
- Rise above it – You can’t always avoid what I call ‘toxic’ people, recklessly unkind, brutish, deceitful or selfish individuals but you CAN choose to rise above them. Always strive to do the right thing by your own moral compass, don’t be sucked into negative thoughts. Share the love. Life is too short to spend it in negative situations or with negative people, break free, be free!
- Relish the moment – Try not to take anything for granted. Relish the things and people who make you happy. That’s what life is about.
- Health is everything – An obvious bit of advice but so so important. Without your health, life is meaningless. This last year has taught me that. Illness prevents you from functioning, limits your freedom and enjoyment of life. So do what you can to look after your health. Avoid stress where you can and stressful people. Be kind to yourself.
I know all this sounds like obvious cheesy advice, but a cliché is a cliché precisely because it’s true.
With the sudden and shocking passing of my dear friend, Lindsey J Parsons, at such a tragically young age, a lot of things suddenly became crystallised.
There is NO time to waste.
Embrace life, in whatever way that means to you. No frivolous New Year resolutions that get instantly broken. This is life stuff – the stuff of life! Promise yourself, that this year you will do what it takes to be happier and more fulfilled than the last year. If you continue to do that every year onward, think what a happier person you’ll be.
I’ve taken some huge steps already, but I intend to continue this year and take as many challenges, opportunities and chances as I can.
So…there you go.
730 days have given me purpose and direction. But most of all, I’ve really, finally, understood what is important in life and what is not.
Would you rather be richer or happier? You know the answer. Good luck my friends, I hope you all find your paths and we wander through journeys with bigger smiles than before.
Love Sophie 😀 xxxxxxxx
😀 xxx
Sophie, I feel blessed to have known you the past couple of years. You–and your blog–have been a source of inspiration. As you say farewell to your dear friend, please remember you have other friends who are here for you, ready to lend an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Keep chasing your dreams.
Oh, thank you so much Tricia. I say that with tears in my eyes. It’s strange but, I LOVE Maya Angelou, she has gotten me through some incredibly tough times and she literally saved my mum’s life. We are both indebted to her, though she doesn’t know us and we’re never likely to be lucky enough to meet her. Her words of wisdom have touched our souls and lightened our burdens. And friends like YOU and Lindsey and a few gorgeous others, are more precious to me than I can possibly ever say. YOUR wisdom and kindness and loving friendship seem to evapourate the Atlantic between us. I hope one day to cross the sea and travel around the USA and when I do, I WILL definitely be knocking on your day honey to say a huge thank you!!!!!! I’ll keep chasing my dreams, but you must too, okay? We have obstacles so that we can overcome them. 😀 xxx
This post really touched me. Last April, I quit a career that I had pursued with a vengeance for over 30 years. I loved it for years. Unfortunately, the situation changed and I hated it. I always told people that they should do what they enjoyed, what they loved to do, what they had a passion to do. I realized, I was no longer doing that. I quit, told them I was taking early retirement. I am so glad I got out when I did.
I always wanted to write so I wrote a book of short stories, little true life adventures and stories I have shared with many friends through the years. A good friend and former co-worker had cancer. He encouraged me to publish the book so he could read it on his ereader while he took chemo. I published it and I’m glad I did. Then I wrote a story I have been planning to write for a long time. It is #5 on Amazon’s Best seller list in Paranormal Psychic Romance. It’s been in the top 10 for a few weeks now. I am encouraged by this early success of my first book. I’m unknown, after all.
The only regret I have is that I didn’t started writing years earlier. I have entered into this new adventure in my life with curiosity and vigor. I had no writing skills. Not in fiction, anyway. I have created many technical documents these past 30 years but, that is very different from telling a story for fun. I love the new author friends I have made.
One of my writer friends was close to Lindsay J. Parsons. Although I live on a different continent, I find myself mourning her loss to the writing community. What I have read about her shows me that she was cherished and appreciated by her friends. I am so sorry for her loss, to all of you who knew her.
This post really touched me. I am encouraged to make the most out of the life I have left. We are, none of us, alone.
Wow, thank you honey. Yes, I too was committed to a career I pursued vigoriously for many years, to the detriment of all else. When that beloved career changed and my health became an issue, I was afraid to leave, to take that plunge into the unknown, but already, I’m so glad that I did. Life is for living, not enduring, not beating yourself up or having your nose to the grindstone for 50+ hours a week, not that my health allows me to do that anyway. But sometimes you do have to be brave and change your circumstances. It’s never easy, but it is rewarding.
Having the painful loss of a good friend somehow highlights not only how precious life is and how short, but how we cannot afford to waste a moment of it. I’m so glad that you took the plunge into a new life and that you already feel happier as a result.
Lindsey was an unbelievably lovely person. A one-off. Simply put, she was magic and she touched so many people’s lives in so many ways. Everytime I put pen to paper, I shall think of her. I shall certainly dedicate my next book to her, and most probably every one after that. She was an inspiration to everyone who knew her, and was such a talented writer.
Thank you for your kind words. If you want a great read though, my advice to you, would be to certainly check out her two extraordinary books on Amazon. 😀 xx
Thank you, Sophie, for sharing the process of your woes and realisations during this last year. What’s remarkable is that throughout the turbulent events your inspirational spirit and generosity kept uplifting your friend. Now to release Lindsay on wings of love. She’d want you to make your life ☼
Thank you, Ashen. It’s been a strange and difficult two years, with the awful culmination of poor Lindsey’s passing. But somehow through the sorrow, it has reaffirmed what a short time we have, and how important it is live our lives well. I certainly intend to make this year a new start in so many ways and have Lindsey to thank for that. Bless you, Ashen. 😀 xx
Wonderful and inspirational blog. It is sad when we lose someone who is close to us, but you’ve taken that and turned it into a positive post that lifts us all and encourages us to stay strong.
Thank you so much DM! Well, it’s very easy to become overwhelmed by sorrow, certainly I’ve been crying on a regular basis like some big baby since it happened. But the thing is, Lindsey was such a positive person herself and such a powerhouse of vitality and energy, that it seemed fitting to find positive life lessons for us all, from her tragically sudden passing. I’m so glad you liked it. I hope that it gives you strength in whatever battles you may face. 😀 xx
What they said. Just remember that however tiny the steps you make are, they add up to something surprisingly fast.
My thoughts are with you today. It is always hard, losing a friend, but the cruelty feels double when they’re young.
Cheers
MTM
Thank you, Mary, that’s very kind of you. It was an incredibly tough day today and I cried like a baby. Seeing her little coffin come in was heartbreaking. But it was a beautiful service and there were so many people there, each one of them touched in some way by Lindsey. That was her magic. So many people loved her dearly, what better life can any of have?
True. She died the way she’d like to be remembered. There was no illness and no living death first. That’s a kind of mercy even if it’s really hard to take at the time.
If it helps, to know someone else has done it too, one of my friends died a couple of years ago just before his 42nd birthday. He was 11 months younger than me. I tried not to cry at the ceremony because I was with some of my husband’s clients who were also friends of his. But in the end I couldn’t help it. When I blew my nose and looked up I realised they were blubbing away with me.
It’s cathartic and good to say goodbye and there’s no shame in having a good cry.
Take care and God bless.
Cheers
MTM
Thank you MT, yes I know you’re right, the whole thing was so sudden, so quick, that at least she didn’t suffer. But the shock of it still hasn’t left me. Yesterday was a lovely service and she would have been thrilled at the turn out, at just how many people loved her. The strange thing was that it even snowed a little yesterday, her beloved snow, it seemed like a poignant sign somehow. But it was good to say goodbye, but just terribly terribly sad. 😦
Thank you Mary, I’m so sorry about your friend too. The loss of friends is hard to come to terms with, but it does inspire those left behind toreally make the most of life. Thanks honey! 😀 xx