Living in Trumpland
Spectral shadows cloud my eyes,
Infinite distance to horizon’s demise.
We mindless children always at war,
Tearing into each other – the loudest voice gains the floor.
Hatred rises in peaks of crimson hue,
Death, mistrust, intolerance…nothing new.
Will sanity’s lessons ever be learned,
As this ravaged Earth is destroyed and we burn?
From nothing to nothing – particles collide,
Moon shapes, moonscapes that dance across soulless blackened skies.
Sophie E Tallis © 2018
Got home after work, rather knackered, and spent the next few hours outside in the glorious sunshine with my dogs, watching the wondrous display of daffodils and primroses swaying in the wind…sheer bliss!
So, here’s a little ditty…
*
The blushing brides of peach and buttery gold
Blow upon the breeze as memories forgot,
The loves and lives of times gone by
In Spring’s embrace…forget-me-not.
The wings of warmer air descends
Bursting with humming lives,
Our fears and thoughts of months ago
Fizzle under sweltering skies.
*
Sophie E Tallis © 2015
This was a little poem I wrote on a red paper poppy as part of the World War I display we had at the library last November, to commemorate the centenary of the start of WWI. See what you think. 🙂
*
An ocean of mud
As far as the grey horizon,
Twisted wire, ditch and ford
Trenchfoot and mustard eyes so sore.
*
A world away under cerulean skies
Without the muskets and bombs so loud,
These fields once were
Green and ploughed…
*
Things grew, took root
Verdant leaves and shoot,
Now only craters
Desolate and wild.
*
But crimson poppies
Nod their vermillion heads up high,
And make us remember
Carefree skies.
*
*
Sophie E Tallis © 2014
The subdued petal,
Its silken flesh blessed by dew,
Dances and sways in the spring sun’s rays,
Bending its delicate skirts in chiffon grace.
*
No more the deep darkness of winter’s embrace,
Life re-born, renewed a pace.
A thousand wishes coming true,
New hope, new possibilities grow.
*
Glistening shards of verdant green,
Among white dappled drops of snow,
Each frowning head bobbing in the warming glow,
Of sunnier days to come.
*
The crocus bursts with vivid hue,
Amidst the dull greys of winter blue,
The ducks arrive in feathered clans,
And bring my smile, happiness found.
*
Spring leaps…and I follow.
*
Sophie E Tallis © 2014
Smiling platitudes.
Weak mouthed grimaces continue to do the rounds, circling and dancing with the others.
A hideous and sad little minstrel band observes from the gallery watching the fools do the gargoyle dance below.
Kiss ass.
Fit in.
Part of the team.
Half friendly, half embracing, barely concealing the contempt for each other.
Then the nightly farewells and well wishes, watching yourself reel off the same shit, hating yourself in the frozen air of the car journey home…
…complicit in your own downfall,
but ready to do the same dance and the same smile
tomorrow.
*
Sophie E Tallis ©
She squeezed the cadmium in a bright yellow streak across the palette.
She had painted in every medium, every material possible, but she still loved the richness of oils – that wonderful buttery smear of vivid colour, the smell of the linseed, the texture of the paint as it glided across the canvas.
All of it seemed more real to her than anything else. A life of its own, raw, visceral.
She dipped the sable brush in her own concoction of white spirit and linseed, to thin the paint whilst keeping the gloss. Too much white spirit would dull the verdant hues, too little would make them too sticky, too slick.
Her movements were erratic, not the usual smooth motions of wandering mind and sparkling imagination. She’d often complete a commission in a daze, almost unaware of where she was or what she was doing. Her conscious self, the side of her that was always acutely cautious, would be suppressed, allowing her hands to take over, her fingers to find the form she wanted.
That was where the magic lay…not in the end result, but in its creation.
Today was different.
Today, she was painting for her life.
The music swelled to a crescendo, pushing her adrenaline forward, hurrying her hand. The mottled texture of the canvas swirled before her eyes, a flamenco dance of colours.
Titanium white, a flash of cerulean, a dab of burnt umber and then the thinning haze of vermillion, red as flesh, peering out at her, reminding her of her slowing heart, the constrictions of her arteries, the pulsating electricity through her veins, which told her she was running out of time.
She worked fast now, pounding the canvas until the wooden stretcher creaked beneath the pressure.
The outside noises had faded away. No traffic, no loud Saturday night voices and wailing sirens. It was silent everywhere but inside her head.
Mixing now, hurried new hues emerging from the clogged up mess. Phaltho blue enriching the green she had created, a hint of lemon, a sparkle of ultra-marine.
Throat dry now. Hands shaking, fingers slipping on the brush shaft.
She HAD to finish this.
Shadows clouded her vision. The music soared as eyes emerged from the canvas, eyes she knew so well, eyes staring into her soul, accusing her, condemning her, gloating at her demise.
“I won’t give in, I won’t!” she muttered feverishly.
Mars black, thick and glossy, impenetrable, unfathomable…she was losing the fight.
“Why did you leave me?”
Amber liquid pooled in the crevices, little streaks finding a route through the strokes, dripping in splashes at her feet.
She was always fighting gravity, as most women do. Always fighting, yes, her whole life she had been fighting.
Through the gloom, the full image stared back at her.
“So, you finally painted me? Finally… It only took you fifty years,” it sneered.
“I…I couldn’t do it before. I couldn’t see you,” she stuttered.
The painting smiled at her. “Are you pleased with yourself?”
“No…no…I, just had to see you. I had to say sorry.”
“But it’s too late for that now, isn’t it?”
She dropped to her knees. Her chest compressing in on itself, pain shooting through her shoulder, her arm, down her right side. She knew what this was.
“I need you to…forgive me.” She panted, fighting to breathe, her jeans soaking up the puddles of paint on the floor, seeping slowly through the fibres to her bruised knees beneath.
“PLEASE!”
The painting watched as she slumped forward, struggling to keep conscious, fighting as she had done her whole existence, fighting to try and hold onto something…love.
“Please…” her voice was raspy, desperate, forcing itself through closing valves, through density of flesh, through spasms of life.
The painting stared down at her as the music floundered.
Thump, thump, thump…
“You don’t deserve forgiveness,” it whispered to her coolly. “You know what you deserve.”
Thump, thump…
“Pleaseeee!”
“You let her die, didn’t you? What did you do to save her?”
“I tried…I…”
The painting took pity on the thing before it, crumpled like an old newspaper, suddenly a child itself, curling up as an infant, as her infant had been curled up when she found it, smashed by the roadside, barely recognisable. Her baby, her life, gone, snuffed out in a moment of stupidity and violence.
It had been her fault, she was late. She should have been there as she had promised. Instead her daughter had taken a ride with a friend, a drunken friend. What was left behind didn’t even resemble a car anymore.
It had been her fault.
“Pleaseeee…” she drooled, words slurred, barely audible.
The painting sighed, better to quicken her misery than give her hope. “No.”
Thump…….thump…………
Thump.
*
*
Sophie E Tallis © 2013
The ochre shades of Autumn fall
Amongst the pearly drops of dew,
The straddling wisps of cloud rush by
As wind whispers in the willows tall.
**
The last days of summer gone
The fleeting haze of warmth and shine
The flutter of the butterflies
The humming of the bees has died.
**
Chill air blows from northern skies,
An arctic blast to catch our breath,
Trees semi-clad and leafless sigh
As the hours draw ever closer in.
**
Exotic twirls of russet fungi
Flower like balletic skirts,
Amongst the brown shades and woody tumble
That smoothers all the green I knew.
**
The pheasants shriek their lonely call
The hunter’s on the prowl,
Gunshots ring out in darkening days
Oh, the cruelty of human pride.
**
I see the beauty of the gold, the amber and the crimson hue
But how my heart aches for the shimmering sizzle
Warm grass underfoot,
Lazy hazy days of Summer azure…
**
So while the harvest fruits cascade,
The hedgerows twitch alive with life,
Winter crops planted and ordered well,
Haystacks drying in the last sunny rays…
**
I murmur to the heavens,
To the trees still bearing leaves,
To the dying Speckled Woods on the wing
Come stay a while longer … pleaseeee.
*
*
Sophie E Tallis © 2013
English: Speckled Wood butterfly – in the woods Nestling on moss among the pine needles, this butterfly looked to be at home in the 943212. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Dear Someone,
I’m glad you have found this little place, my haven. It has sheltered me for over fifteen months. I do not know if the world beyond has changed. I hope with all my heart that it has. I hope that somewhere, even if it isn’t here, but somewhere, there are children playing. I hope people are making their way to work, slurping cups of coffee between quick bites to eat. I hope there is traffic. Oh, how I miss traffic! The sound of the engine humming along, the thud of rubber tyres running fast on cement, exhaust fumes. Yes…I miss traffic almost as much as I miss the birds. I hope the world you find yourself in has returned from the brink of insanity that I left it in. I hope somewhere, that there are people who still make sandwiches and load washing machines.
Please forgive my ramblings. I’m tired and well, I didn’t know how to write this letter. How does anyone write a letter in these times? Perhaps this is the last letter left. I hope not. I should be filling it with profound sayings, teachings I’ve learnt, some kind of knowledge. I’m sorry it’s not better than this. I find it hard to clarify my thoughts these days, words somehow, just don’t seem enough.
You should know that there are provisions here for one person for a year, if there are more of you, oh how I wish there is, then you can ration them to make them last longer. The tinned peaches are particularly good! There are matches under the stove and a flint head to make sparks should you use the matches up. The tank collects plenty of rainwater so that will be fine, just be sure not to turn the tap too tightly. It’s a little rusty and sticks, I had been meaning to fix that. The toilet is just a bucket, I’m afraid, there’s a stagnant pond nearby that I throw the slops in, don’t be tempted to dispose of them by the door, and DON’T use the house, it’s not safe. There are some fresh clothes under the bunk and some other useful stuff. There’s a gun under there too, but, I’m afraid I only have 12 bullets. Use only dry wood for the stove so it doesn’t smoke and leave the junk on top of the chimney, it disguises the vent. I’m sure I’m forgetting things. Make sure you use the periscope before you go out. It looks dumb I know, but it actually works! My uncle had built this place as a bomb shelter years ago, then converted it into a playhouse complete with periscope, when my brother and I were kids…that was long before any of this madness.
I don’t really know what else to say. Stay quiet, stay locked in, especially when you’re sleeping. If you have to go out, only go out at night and keep low. If you do get spotted, the door will shut and lock tight and should hold even against a gun blast. There is an emergency tunnel behind the stove if things get bad but I’ve no idea if it’s safe or even where it goes to.
Sorry. This letter should be better. I have no advice really that I can give you. I used to believe in god. I used to go to church every Sunday. I used to do a lot of things.
I hope the world has changed for you, that the sky is blue again and the trees are green and the birds have returned. I still dream of fields of soft green grass and buttercups and butterflies! Yes, butterflies!
Good luck.
I’m going to join my family now.
Goodbye,
From Mrs Dean Mitchell, the last grandmother. xx
*****
(Sophie E Tallis © 2013 – ‘flash fiction’ for writing challenge competition on theme of letters)
(check this letter out and many more stories on ReadWave: http://www.readwave.com/the-last-letter_s11823 )
The silver shimmer slid away,
Light dancing on water,
Heat haze above the roads.
As dusk falls, and the air cools
I think I hear the sigh of the sea.
Hot insomnia abounds
Winding, clinging sheets
And suffocating downs.
Wet behind ears,
Stingy eyes, sticky arms,
The closeness of thunder without the storm.
I dream of sparkling oceans and their breeze
The cascade of waterfalls,
The tinkle of ice in glass
And tender coldness under foot of grass.
These stifling sleepless nights,
And breathless airless days,
Sun baked earth, windless sky,
So uncommon to our verdant shores,
This ancient rain-soaked isle
So used to washed out summers,
Now sizzles in July.
Sophie E Tallis © 2013
You never believe your life can change…until it does.
Kate Neilson’s life, not much of one by her own account, had bumped along in the same unremarkable way for the last three decades now. She had fond memories of being a kid, having adventures, being bold and exciting but all that changed when she was eight. A few weeks after her eighth birthday her mother had been killed in a car accident and her young life took an overnight turn from the fantasies of being a kid into the harsh realities of life. She’d given up on being adventurous after that, she’d given up on being anything really and had perfected the art of drifting – no ambition, no goals, no hassle.
Now at the age of 38, her life had drastically changed again…
Kate sat wedged in a leather chair, a blank expression on her face. She had reached brain overload about two hours before. Most of the morning had been consumed by endless papers, signing codicils, notarising documents, legal jargon and the sort of beaurocratic nonsense that she and Shaw hated. Kate knew that if his lawyer hadn’t been his friend, then Shaw would have ended up without an asset to his name. Shaw had a particular dislike, no, an outright disgust regarding paperwork especially when it came to summarising a human being’s life.
“It’s paper, just f**king paper!” he’d scream, invariably louder than he had to.
Shaw enjoyed making people stiffen in their chairs, is if he were about to assault them. Kate remembered an old friend of his, describing him as a ‘human tsunami’. That was it exactly. It was the most accurate description of him and uncannily prophetic. Shaw really was a human tsunami, whether he intended to be or not. He left people mangled in his wake. To be honest, in all their interviews together, the endless taped conversations and battles of wit, not really a battle, Kate had never won a point. But in all their meetings, she had never really been able to assess his motives. Frustratingly, right up until the end, he had remained as big a mystery as he ever had. Perhaps that was how he wanted it. He had a way of orchestrating things by invisible means, nonetheless, one always suspected Shaw of being involved.
“Right. That’s it. All signed and sealed. The realtor will sort that sign out in the morning. That was a mistake, that should never have gone up.” Shaw’s lawyer towered above her.
“Thank you, Tom.”
Tom McCrury, a great bear of a man, had been Addison Shaw’s lawyer for fifty-one years. He probably knew him better than anyone, but he was keeping tight-lipped about it. What an odd friendship it seemed. This softly spoken monolith of a man and Addison Shaw, loud mouthed, foul-mouthed and with no patience for the pleasantries of life. To Kate, Shaw had always seemed a chewed up gristly character, gristly yes, as if there was no bone or muscle and certainly no fat, just gristle…gnarled on the inside.
“Well,” McCrury drew in a long breath. “Things happen for a reason, right?” He patted Kate on the back. “Place is all yours now, kiddo, enjoy it!”
Tom was in a hurry to leave. He wrestled with the enormous cluster of keys for a moment then dropped then squarely in her hands. He strode out to his car got in and hesitated for a moment.
“Don’t forget, I’m your lawyer now. Call me if you need anything, my number’s on speed dial…lucky number seven!” he smiled, then slamming the door shut with a cursory wave, he was gone. By the rattle of his exhaust, Kate wondered if his old friend had been as generous with him. If anyone deserved to inherit, surely it had to be Tom McCrury not her?!
Kate stood on the steps for a while looking at the jumble of keys, so interconnected she’d never be able to separate them. The place was vast. There had to be a hundred rooms at least. Why on earth had Addison Shaw, reclusive heir to a fortune of billions – no single person seemed to know the full extent of his assets, why…why had he left this to her?!
She couldn’t call it a house, a mansion, or even a palace, it was just an enormous pile of rooms and turrets and grandiose staircases with nothing but the mice to waft up and down. What the hell was she going to do with it? It had to be worth… what was it Tom said?
“Oh, I don’t know, somewhere between fifteen and thirty million. Shaw refused to ever let realtors in…you know Addison.”
No, no she didn’t that was the point. She had worked at a crummy local newspaper writing minor stories and organising the ad section. A job she hated and which routinely underappreciated and underpaid her, but the plain truth was, she was a coward and couldn’t risk leaving it. Then a year ago, out of the blue, her editor had called her into his office. She’d only spoken to the guy maybe twice in five years. Anyone watching him bluster around the offices would have thought he was some hot-shot newspaper kingpin, not the king of a small town rag with an embarrassingly low readership.
Anyway, he’d lowered himself to call her insignificance in for a ‘chat’.
“I got a call this morning,” he paused. He liked pausing for dramatic effect. It just made he seem even more like the jumped up little weasel she thought he was. “A call…from Addison Shaw.”
She had no idea who he was, but she had no intention of letting him know that. One thing Kate was great at, was faking.
“Yes?”
“Addison Shaw? The multi-billionaire? He owns the Shoreside estate?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm. Well…he wants a reporter and he has personally asked for you.”
Now she was shocked. Nobody personally asked for her, ever. The last time that happened it was over a speeding ticket.
“Me?”
“You know this guy?”
“No…no, not at all.”
Her boss eyed her suspiciously. “Really…well, he seems to know you. Wants you to go out there this afternoon.”
“What?”
“Take your camera. There are no recent pictures of this guy without those damn shades on.”
“This afternoon?”
“Yeap.”
“But…but I’ve got the ads to finish.”
“Gary will have to do those. He wants you there at 2.”
“Did he say what it was about?”
“Jesus, Neilson! A story! I don’t think he’s looking for a girlfriend!”
Sarcastic little shit. That meant he’d asked and been told to f**k off. Good.
Kate left the office, for what ended up as the last time. That surreal afternoon she had meet with the mysterious Mr. Shaw and been offered a job as his biographer, a job which easily paid five times the amount she got at the Gazette. Her normal cautiousness had kicked in for about twenty seconds, until she been given a cheque for twenty thousand dollars as an advance. On her return journey home, she had stopped at the local deli, just to phone her editor and tell him to stick his job. Considering that Kate rarely swore, her exact words drew stares from the prissy woman behind the deli counter!
That was a year ago, almost to the day.
Kate stood on the steps and looked up at the colossus of a building behind her. How was she going to live here? The papers she had to sign that morning, stipulated she could not sale, rent or let the property nor could she run any business from it for a period of no less than ten years. After this ten-year enforced habitation, she would have to apply to be released from the clauses and various legal entanglements and could then eventually sell up and reap the rewards…if she refused her grand prize then this impossibly grand house would be torn down with immediate effect. She simply couldn’t abide that, to rip apart something like this for no reason, was crazy!
Yes…it would be criminal…at least after ten years she could sell up, maybe give some money to charity or something or set up a foundation for kids, something.
“Ten years, eh?” she felt the weight of it already.
The money Addison Shaw had left her, too mind-boggling to contemplate, was neatly ascribed to various maintenance areas, the roof, gardens and grounds, stonework, plaster work, upkeep of conservation work etc, then the rest into a ‘living account’, expenses, that kind of thing.
Kate slumped down on the top step. This was all too much. A week ago she still had a relatively normal life, well, sort of. She’d spend most of her days running errands for Mr. Shaw, interviewing him or doing research. Kate really had no idea how to write a biography, but her lack of credentials didn’t seem to bother her new boss.
Despite the better income, she was still living in her one bedroomed apartment trying to work out if she could afford to move to a bigger place. She had used up the advance pretty quickly, paying off debts, and though Shaw gave her the healthiest salary she could have dreamt of, she had been sensible and had squirreled it away into savings and a pension plan. She was rather proud of herself for doing that. Most 38 year olds would have blown it on an expensive house and car…but then again, most 38 year olds were married with kids. Kate didn’t fit the usual mould.
Yes…a week ago Kate was busy with an assignment Shaw had given her and was running late as usual when Mrs Forrenti had cornered her as she fumbled with her front door keys.
The old lady who lived next door to her and knew the movements of everyone in the block, was waving a crumpled envelope in her hand.
Kate smiled. “Good morning Mrs Forrenti. I’m in a bit of a rush this morning.”
“Did you see what she did with that dog?” The old woman was waving manically at her octogenarian nemesis across the balcony.
“Uh huh…I’m sure that’s right…”
“What? Are you listening to me dear?”
Kate stared at her. Why couldn’t she politely tell her to sod off and leave her alone? What did she think? That just because she was single she’d want to be best buddies with an eighty-three year old pain in the ass, who stank of garlic and lavender to hide the stench of smoke and rotten teeth? Ughh! Even now, Kate couldn’t pass a perfume counter if it had any lavender scents without wanting to throw up.
“I’m sorry Mrs Forrenti, I really can’t talk…I’m late I’ve got to go…”
“Oh my dear, you’re always late aren’t you?” she smiled. Kate got another waft of smoke-laden garlic.
“I’ll speak to you later, okay?” She turned and rushed away.
“Wait! Wait!” the old woman grabbed her arm. Why couldn’t she just leave her alone? “This is yours. That damn post boy keeps giving me your mail!” She gave her the brown envelope.
Kate stuffed it into her bag and quickly left. Shaw had asked her, on their last round of interviews to do some research for him and the woman at the records office could only see her at 9 sharp. Kate reached there with a minute to spare. She spent the rest of the day scrolling through dated microfilm and newspaper articles. It wasn’t until three, when she had left the records office to grab a sandwich, that she had remembered the envelope. It was a note in Addison Shaw’s scrawling hand. It said simply.
With it was a business card from Tom McCrury. On the back Tom had written – Call me today, urgent!
So she did.
That was how Kate had found out that her boss of the last year, the mysterious, reclusive billionaire, Addison Michael Shaw, had died.
At 11:30 the previous night, he had driven his Bugatti Veyron into the sea and strapped himself in the seat.
That was eight days ago.
The funeral was yesterday. Today, Kate Neilson was a billionairess…
Sophie E Tallis © 2013
Sophie E Tallis - Author/Illustrator 